Nightmares and dreams.

I haven't updated in a bit... what a busy week.

This morning I had some terrible nightmares. I can't remember them too well, all I know is three times throughout the morning I woke myself up screaming. I don't have nightmares much anymore, but when I do they're damned awful.

I do, however, remember my dream from the night before. I was in a Escheresque college with multiple levels that also had a cold-side grocery store beside its classrooms. Handy. One of the guys in my class was a guy I went to school with in high school who had long hair and would (ironically?) put it into pigtails. In the dream, he had Sailor Moon hair with very long hemp hair ties, walking around like it ain't no thang. I should also mention he was wearing a lumberjack's shirt and a blue kilt.

After class, I went to the elevator and came face-to-face with an old friend. He was wearing an ankle-length pink fur coat, an enormous admiral's hat with huge plumes and gems, and had a small chain through his nose and cheeks.

"Hey, what's going on?" he says.

"Not much. Um, nice outfit."

"I know, right?"

He then turns sideways, where an Asian Link is now standing holding a triforce. My friend grabs it out of his hands and says, "That's not for you!" and runs off into the parking garage with it. Link hangs his head and cries as he slumps down the stairs.


Speaking of nightmares, I had one a few weeks ago that bothered me. A year ago, I had a nightmare where I was helping my mom move into a new house. She asked me to take a box to the attic and I complied.

The attic was enormous, with several large rooms and winding staircases. I set the box down and went to leave, when I realized the door was gone: there was just a wall. Suddenly, horrific ghosts and Lovecraftian creatures slunked from the shadows, closing in on me. I can't really describe them, but they give me shivers just thinking about it. I forced myself to wake up before anything happened, a practice I perfected after neverending nightmares when I was a teenager.

A few weeks ago, I had another dream that I was in a house with my mom, helping her unpack. Sean was there with me.

"This house looks really familiar," I said.

"You've been here before, don't you remember?" Sean said.

My mom motions to a box on the ground. "Will you take this up to the attic for me?"

I shake my head. "No way. Don't you remember what happened to me in the attic a year ago?"

I've never had reoccuring dreams, much less a dream that continues itself after one year. Eerie.


What are some of your most memorable dreams?

Horror movies for Halloween!

Halloween is almost here, and what better way to spend it than dressing up, eating candy, drinking some rum, and watching horror movies? Okay, I guess there are better ways, but damn it, that's how I'm spending mine.

If you're like me, you love horror movies way more than is healthy. I'm not a fan of movies that use blood and gore as their main focus (such as Saw, Hostel, Friday the 13th, etc), so if that's your cup of tea you may not enjoy my list of recommendations too much. Personally, I like psychological horror, and that's what you'll see here.

Here are my movie recommendations for Halloween, in no particular order.

1. The Descent



This movie is about a group of female spelunkers who explore a cave that had been previously untouched. After being trapped when their exit collapses, the explorers search for another route out to only find out they're not alone in the cave systems.

The Descent is great because it relies so much on psychological horror. Most of the horror from the film is the claustrophobic feel of the movie: the girls are constantly squeezing through deathly tight passages and going over underground cliffs to escape from the creatures. This movie uses one of the best devices for the monsters as well: you never really see them clearly. The Descent was originally a British movie that was remade in the Americas, and sadly I've never seen the original version. However, I've been told the remake is very faithful to the original, and neither versions will disappoint.

2. The Thing



The Thing is one of the most underrated horror movies of all time. A box-office bomb, it went on to become a classic of horror and is one of the scariest (and at times, grossest) movies ever. The movie takes place on an American base in Antarctica, where scientists are working. They come across a shape-shifting alien that takes on the appearance of those that it kills. Throughout the movie, they are constantly trying to figure out who the Thing is, eventually turning on each other.

This movie is a great example of psychological horror. You see the Thing very rarely, and most of the interest comes from the scientists' growing distrust and backstabbing. For reference, this is the 1982 movie and not the campy 1952 movie.

3. Let the Right One In



This movie is a Finnish film that has been remade into an American movie called Let Me In. I haven't seen the remake, so this review is based upon the original. Oskar, a schoolboy who is constantly bullied, meets a strange girl Eli. Once Eli shows up, people start vanishing and Oskar suspects that the girl's caretaker is the one who is killing people off. However, Oskar soon discovers that Eli is not what she appears to be.

To sum this movie up, it is a much cooler, non-sparkly, superior, and bloody version of Twilight for people who hate Twilight.

4. Ringu/The Ring



Ringu is a Japanese horror film that centers on a mysterious videotape that will cause you to die after seven days. It is extremely creepy, as Japanese ghosts are some of the scariest that there are. Sadako, the undead girl that crawls from the well, makes you never want to trust children again. I'm sure you've all seen it (either version), but this is a great one for Halloween.

5. Rec



Another great horror movie turned into a remake called Quarantine by Hollywood (they love their horror remakes, hmm?). A Spanish reporter doing a report on firefighters follows them into an apartment building where an emergency call has been placed. Turns out it's zombies. It's always zombies. Rec is filled with horrifying scenes and psychological thrills. I'd recommend the original over the remake, though the remake isn't extremely terrible.

6. Cloverfield




Less of a horror and more of an awesome monster movie, Cloverfield never disappoints. After a group of friends celebrates a going-away party for their buddy leaving for work in Japan, a mysterious explosion rocks their New York apartment. Filmed by one of the characters with a hand-held camera, the group travels through the dangerous city in an effort to find safety but is battling against the monster, falling buildings, and spider-like creatures whose bites cause you to explode. A great movie that leaves the ending wide open.

7. 28 Days Later/28 Weeks Later



When a coma victim wakes up to a desolate and abandoned London, he knows some shit has gone down. Turns out that a illness called the Rage Virus has spread across the UK and those that had been left behind in the evacuated place are now fighting for their lives against some very angry zombies. The sequel, 28 Weeks Later, has more zombies and less psychological struggle against other humans, but it's still pretty good.

8. Ju-on/The Grudge



This is the only movie that I have finished and knew I had been scarred for life. It's the only horror movie that I hadn't been able to sleep at night from for a week after seeing it (for fear of that chick being under my covers). Again, the original is much better than the remake. The tennants of a house that has been cursed discover what had happened: a man in a jealous fit brutally murders his son and wife, envelloping the house in an angry curse that contaminate all that touches it. Japanese horror at its finest.

9. Shutter



A Thai movie, once again remade and once again I recommend the original. A photographer and his chick discover shadows in their photographs after they are responsible for a hit-and-run. They are plagued by the ghost, both in photos and reality. Extremely creepy movie.

10. Gin Gwai / The Eye



A horror from Hong Kong that has, you guessed it, been remade into an inferior American version. They need to stop that. A blind woman who receives a cornea transplant begins to experience strange things around her... ghosts of the anguished and those who were doomed to die. In an effort to discover who her donor was, she discovers the dead girl's troubled past. This is one of my favorite horror movies of all time, and I will never be able to go into an elevator without watching the corners again. Please, watch the original over the remake. You won't regret it.

But seriously, thanks to this movie I really do hate elevators now. This is why:



FUCK THAT.

11. Honorable Mention of a Video Game: Fatal Frame

This game was actually banned in the U.S. for causing heart attacks, panic attacks, and extreme paranoia. You are a girl who goes into a Japanese manshion in search for your brother, armed with nothing but a camera to fight against the vengeful spirits there. There are no safe spots, only pause. You never know when a ghost is just going to jump out at you. When I went into the courtyard and a little kid in a kimono crawling on all fours came out at me from under the porch, I had to put this game down. Good luck playing for more than 30 minutes at a time.

This game has great atmosphere, non-ghosty scares (fuck that mirror and those dolls), and will make you pee yourself. Here's a video of one of the scarier rooms. Try to ignore the guy crying like a baby.

Take me home, country roads (without zombies)

I live in West Virginia. I wasn't born here, but I've lived here for most of my life. Most people I know complain about how much they hate it and how they can't wait to leave it. I've met people from out-of-state who don't even realize we are a state. I get this conversation a lot:

Them: You live in West Virginia? That's cool! I have family from Roanoake!
Me: Roanoake is in Virginia.
Them: Yeah? So?
Me: West Virginia is a different state. It separated from Virginia and became a state in 1863. It was kind of a big deal.
Them: Whatever. Bunch of hillbillies.

For years West Virginians have been labeled as a group of moonshine-swilling, deer-hunting, racist, shoeless rednecks. Oh, those do exist here, don't get me wrong. They also exist everywhere else in the United States. We don't have the monopoly on rednecks.

Because of people's general misunderstanding of our state, I decided to devise a list of why West Virginia is awesome and once the apocalypse is neigh we'll still be here.

1. West Virginia is completely covered by the Appalachian range. That means when zombies or sentient robots invade, we'll be pretty safe in our dazzling array of peaks, valleys, caves, and cliffs. Since West Virginians are used to walking on an inclined plane, that means we're good at it and can escape easily, especially if these invaders are from the Midwest.

Good luck scaling this bitch.

2. This state is one of the most beautiful, natural, rugged, and scenic in the country. Wildlife is everywhere. I have a fawn that has taken up residence in the backyard (I named her Crimson, after the crimson roadstains that spot the West Virginian highways of dead deer), as well as three rabbits (Fluffers, Twitchy, and Sir Hopsalot). There are snakes, bobcats, coyotes, owls, foxes, black bears, even freaking cougars, and that's just scratching the surface. Because we are so used to seeing wild fauna, we have become intuned with them and can actually control them telepathically to rise up and destroy our invaders. The Mountaineer is the one with the strongest powers.

The backbone of our armies.

3. We have lots of coal, which means lots of steam power, which means steampunk, which means steampunk zeppelins that will drop barrels of explosive moonshine on enemies. Moonshine is hardcore, because if it's made wrong, it'll make you go blind.

Typical West Virginian gentlemen making moonshine, the artillery of our militias.

4. Most of our populace hunt. It makes sense; we have more deer here than people. That's not really a hyperbole. It makes sense to hunt deer because they're rampant and dumb, as well as tasty. Because so many people here hunt, that means they are a good shot, which makes gathering an Apocalypse Militia easy. Also, they won't have to starve like most people do because we have herds of retarded food grazing all over the place. I don't really hunt, but I'm good at fishing, and West Virginia bluegill is tasty.

Dumbshits.

5. Not a lot of people, and therefore less of a chance of zombie bites spreading. We're also less of a priority for invaders. If the robot overlords are anything like out-of-staters driving through over the New River Gorge bridge, they'll be going 25 miles an hour with their flashers on while we speed by at 80. Therefore, it'll be a pain for them to invade.

Entertainment is being a West Virginian and watching a New Yorker drive over this.

6. Endless mine shafts to hide in.

Also good for hiding the bodies.

So in conclusion, West Virginia is awesome. It's sad that the media continues to treat us as backwater hillbillies instead of the apocalypse survivors we are. It's okay, we won't let them in once West Virginia has changed its name to Shangri-La. We'll let you guys in though.