Things I've wanted to be.

Throughout our childhoods, we are asked, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" Most of us respond with firefighter, police(wo)man, animal doctor, or something of the sort. I remember in the 3rd grade I had to write a story about what I wanted to be once I was ripped from the carefree years of childhood and thrown into the cold, dark world of adulthood. And they wanted me to be serious about it.

An 8-year-old, serious about their future occupation? I'm 22 years old, and I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up. Nonetheless, I've given it thought throughout the years (less than a thought and more like a constant burning nag at the back of my mind everyday), and, throughout those years, I've wanted to be a lot of things. Here they are in chronological order.

1. Fire

That's right, I wanted to be a goddamn fire when I grew up. I was a hardcore 4-year-old. At my preschool, called La Petite, we were asked what we wanted to be when we grew up. I was too busy playing with my Ninja Turtles to pay attention. Several kids said "fireman," but all I heard was "fire."

The teacher came to me and said, "And Brittany, what do you want to be?" Being a 4-year-old who didn't give a shit, I said "fire."

"But Brittany, you don't want to be a fire. Fires are bad."

I shrugged. "Okay."

And my considerations of an adult career were born.


2. Rock star

Who hasn't wanted to be a rock star as a kid? When I was 13, I got my first guitar. I learned to play "Brain Stew" by Green Day and thought I was a rock goddess. I had dreams of stardom, my band playing an awesome concert with me at the forefront crowd-surfing and smashing guitars. Hell, I even had a "band." Less of a band and more of a girl who could sing and a girl who played bass that joined up with me to write crappy songs.

Even though I haven't touched my guitar in years, I still have daydreams of it. Who doesn't? The life of a rock star is awesome, minus the hookers and drugs.


3. Veteranarian

This was rather short-lived. I liked animals, so why not be an animal doctor? When I found out that I needed more years of school that I wanted to attend, this idea was quickly dropped. Also, my mind-meltingly intense phobia of slugs and snails guaranteed me that I was going to be put in an fear-induced coma if someone came in with a pet snail.

(For reference, I've had this phobia since I was 8. It's weird and irrational, but show me a picture of one of these bastards and I will run and cry and scream like a baby.)


4. Geneticist

In my 10th grade science class, we did a section on genetics. I enjoyed it far more than anything else we were taught, and I decided the career of a geneticist was the one for me. Just think, I could cure every genetic disease and disability known to man! I would create superpeople, even monsters! The world would be at my mercy! I would play God!

Imagine my disappointment when I found out geneticists really don't make superpeople.


5. International political advisor

In my senior year of high school, I joined the speech team. I decided to do an original oratory on the genocide in Rwanda and relate it with the ongoing genocide in Darfur. I got really into it. The horrors of the world lay ahead of me, and who was to fix it? Apparently me.

When I went into my first year of college I was a political science major. I would travel the world in a quest to save humanity from itself, learning every language known to man, venturing to the jungles of Africa to the harsh deserts of Mongolia to the dramatic peaks of Argentina. I even took French so I would be able to travel throughout the majority of the African continent (the only word I remember to this day is fenetre.) I continued to take my Spanish courses (I actually successfully minored in this, and pretty good en el idioma de los españoles), and even began studying other languages on my own such as Swahili, Arabic, Irish Gaelic (more for shits and giggles than anything), Japanese, and Chinese.

It was during my first week in college that I met Sean in my political science class. At the end of the year, deeply in love (and still am!) I decided I didn't want to be constantly traveling around the world since I would never see him. Politicians were all demons in disguise anyway.


6. Chemist

I came back home from West Virginia University and decided to attend the smaller school of my hometown, since the hugeness of WVU left me with a soul-crushing chronic depression. I don't make friends easily, and actually don't even really have any friends I hang out with now. I heard the chemistry classes at my new college were great, and I was good at chemistry in high school. How cool would it be to be playing with dangerous, explosive chemicals all day?

Unfortunately, the math requirements were beyond what I could handle. I'm not great at math. Well, not so much bad at it as I absolutely despise it. The only math classes I've ever liked were Geometry and Trig, but algebra sucks. Calculus sucked harder.

A chemist is still something I'd love to be, but I sadly don't have the capacity for the math of it. Dreams crushed.


7. Graphic designer

This is my current major. It's all right I guess. I love design, and it was a good excuse to get to take art classes without being a studio art major. I've been doing websites since I was 12 (first website was a Pokemon fan site, a masterpiece of the Internet), so this was of great interest for me.

It just sucks that my college is terrible at website design classes. They taught us how to use Dreamweaver and how to attach a CSS file, but that's about it. Nothing on actually CSS, PHP, or anything useful that you need to know for website design. So, more or less, I'm doomed.


8. Tattoo artist

My junior year of college, I became a tattoo apprentice at a nearby shop. It was pretty cool despite the fact that I wasn't getting paid. I even got to do a few tattoo fills and piercings. I have some great stories from the place, and this is still something I'd love to do. I've got six tattoos (one half-sleeve) and 11 current piercings, so these things have always been of interest to me.

After I realized that I really didn't want to be associated with that shop, I left. I ended up selling my tattoo machine and inks, and haven't done anything with it since.


9. Machinist

A current interest. Machinists make precision tools, and trade jobs are something that is rewarding and pays well. The only thing that may bar me from this is the fact that I have a uterus. Maybe someday women in trade jobs won't be such a strange thing.


10. Carpenter

My favorite class I've ever taken was Theatre Tech. I built lots of stuff from wood, including a set of a freaking castle. It was awesome, and I was strangely good at it. I still even have my final project from the class sitting in my living room, a table I made from scratch. I'm good at hand tools and power tools, I'm good at measurement, and I'm good at precision. Also, carpenters make decent wages. Another current interest.


11. Writer

A writer is the end-all be-all job for me. I've always wanted to do this, and I still do. My first book was written at the age of 4, self-illustrated and telling a gripping if confusing personal story. I wrote throughout my childhood, teenage years (shameful fanfiction aside), and continue to write. My ultimate dream is to be a writer. It just sucks that I'm not great at it.

In high school, I took a Creative Writing class and did great at it. On the ACT, I got a 35/36 on my English score and a 12/12 on writing. Why is it then, that writing fiction is such a hard thing to do?

Maybe someday I'll be good enough. I ain't giving up on this one yet. Maybe someday...


And just so you won't give up on your dreams, here's my favorite inspirational video for when I'm feeling like a failure.



So, class, what do you want to be when you grow up?